I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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