I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
