I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize