Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
