i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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