Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
