I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
