so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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