girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
