We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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