I am in a vortex of obligation.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Barsexuality is the new black.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
