so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
