So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
