why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
