Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Randomize
