At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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