I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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