yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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