Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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