was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
