Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
