The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
