Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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