He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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