i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You need Xanax blowdarts
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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