I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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