ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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