it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
