I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
