its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
