I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I am naked and annoyed.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
