we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
she told me i tasted like america
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
