i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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