i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
