2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
