dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
