So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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