her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
