Don't you send me to vm
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
