Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
