READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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