your thong is hanging out like whoa
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Randomize
