your room smells of hookers.
And success
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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