Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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