Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
