Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
