is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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