I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
