So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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