3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
