come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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