I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
