yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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