She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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