nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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